To make a flesh eating bovine you need:
500 pounds of Slim Jims.
Evil.
1 pint kitten gravy.
One quart tequila.
The first season of The Fall Guy on tape (not DVD).
Clothes pins, 8.
Mung.
A dash of pretention.
Timecube
Combine all ingredients using science then stand behind, like, some lead or a concrete wall of something and watch your ass cause shit's about to go crazy.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Roc, Paper, Airstrike
Rock, Paper, Airstrike is a popular children's game where 2 or more children gather in a circle and make obscene hand gestures at one another in an attempt to win the game. The rules are surprisingly complex for such a simple children's game, yet it remains a game that children enjoy the world over. Adults don't play because they generally find the game too disturbing to enjoy. Contents [hide]1 Gameplay 1.1 Airstrike vs. Rock 1.2 Rock vs. Paper 1.3 Paper vs. Airstrike 1.4 Paper vs. Paper 1.5 Rock vs. Rock 1.6 Airstrike vs. Airstrike 2 Related Gameplay GameplayGameplay is rather simple for a game so complex. Unlike "War," the card game, no props are needed. All players need are their own hands. The players have a choice of the handsign for rock (a fist), the handsign for paper (an open palm), and the handsign for airstrike (like the handsign for paper, but with pinky and thumb extended). Below are listed the ways that winners are determined in a two-player game (the game grows more complex as the size of the group playing increases, but the basic ideas remain the same). Airstrike vs. RockIn this case, the player with the airstrike defeats the player with the rock, for obvious reasons. Rock vs. PaperIn this instance, the player with the rock defeats the player with the paper, because a rock hurts more. Paper vs. AirstrikeHere, the airstrike wins, because airstrikes always win, and papers are pathetic. The cover from the popular Japanese videogame of the same name.[edit]Paper vs. PaperIn this variation, both players win, because paper is worthless and nobody who's going up against paper can lose. Rock vs. RockThere is actually no rule for this scenario, so in such situations, the players usually end up in an argument which often degenerates into a fistfight. Airstrike vs. AirstrikeWhen this happens, all players lose. As a result, they must join hands and dance in a circle, singing the "Mutual annihilation" song. The lyrics of which are as follows: Mutual Annihilation! From too many airstrikes! Ashes, Ashes We all fall down! At this point, the children usually fall to the ground, rolling around and giggling. Adults watching such a display have been known to give their children lobotomies the next day "for the sake of mankind."
how to survive a zombie apocolypse
(note: I have two main fears, living a useless life, and zombies, this article is for anyone who ever thinks (knows) that their will be an outbreak,*shifts eyes nervously from side to side *) and it teaches them how to deal with it, First things first, you have to know your enemy. Zombies come in two flavors: fast and slow. Fast are definitely cool and look like slighlty eaten humans, you'll need more than a baseball bat and a pair of running sneakers to survive that zombie attack. Slow zombies - well why the heck would anyone die from a slow zombie? If you can't get away from a slow zombie, you earned dismemberment. Let's suppose that you made it through the first 10 minutes of the zombie-fest, and while most of your town are looking for live flesh to feast on, you're wondering how to hot-wire a car and get out of town. You need a plan of action... Preparation:I'm assuming the reader isn't currently experiencing a zombie outbreak. If you are, skip down to the next section. Preparing now for zombiedom is a good idea. Remember what the TV preacher frown daawn of the dead said, "When hell is full, the dead will walk the earth." So it's bound to happen sooner or later. Since it would look wierd if you started bricking up your windows and stockpiling rifles, you have to be smart about this. First, get to know the guy in town who bought a pallet of Spam to survive Y2K. He probably still has a ton of that stuff around, and knows all the good hiding places. Next, scout out all the big box retailers that carry ammo and food. Not too many eh? Tough luck, blue-stater. Someplace like WalMart is ideal, especially with the Garden Center for seed and stuff for longterm survival. A big bonus would be a nearby Home Depot or some such place so you can get plenty of lumber and quick-mix concrete for fortification. While you're preparing, always keep in mind locations where people congregate - you're likely to find lots of zombies there when things turn ugly. Highways, malls, and schools are especially bad. You also might want to mention to your friends and family in passing how well your hiding place could be defended, etc. That way, when the zombies come, they'll remember you said that and come help you. I don't recommend telling them you're preparing for a zombie invasion. First, the Fun Stuff After your initial panic, it's important to remember that a significant component of your surivival is the demise of the ghouls trying to get your tasty brains. Despite some reports to the contrary, the only way to permanently un-animate a zombie is to destroy its brain. This isn't rocket science (although that would be a cool way to do it). A gunshot to the head is the most direct way to disable a zombie, but not the only way. Decapitation also works, although the head will probably still function so don't let it bite you.next when the time comes it will be annoying if you are stuck fighting zombies with a rusty spatula, get real and get a small weapons stockpile. Improvised weapons such as axes and chainsaws can work however in melee combat their is still the chance that some of the 'zombie oil' will touch an open orafice (nose eyes mouth ears etc) and thus pass on the virus, the best long range weapons are the shotgun and a rifle, rifles can be used to kill at great distances from concealed locations while shotguns can blow the enemy away.Dont forget, this is not a video game and everyone runs out of bullets at some time carry a melee weapon with you at all times, it has to be something that is hefty but not heavy (like a katana, machete of shoa ling spade) and it has to be able to pass through skulls, alowwing you to destroy the zombies brain. a sledhammer is good but you will tire quickly, and axes are out of the question they usually get stuck in the dead flesh. If you survive long enough, and society collapses along with any hope of rescue, you'll need to develop some means of skull penetration that doesn't involve guns - a professional bowhunting setup works if you can get it. You might be squeamish at first, taking out your neighbors; with time this will pass, you might even adopt a gleeful hangman's sense of humor in your executions.Run or Hide This is a no-brainer. You gotta hole up somewhere eventually, but pick carefully. Let's say that the outbreak is localized to your city, but you know that the neighboring town is zombie-free. FLEE TO THE NEIGHBORING TOWN. I know this sounds obvious, but don't sit around waiting for grandma to bite you. Get to the safe town, find a gun store, and join the Minuteman Militia. But that isn't much fun, so let's think about what you'd do if the whole country is overrun. Since you already did your prep work, make a bee line for the Costco you picked out earlier. Hot Tip: Pick a new Costco if you can. Zombies tend try to do the things they were doing when they were alive, so they're gonna head to the mall, or WalMart, or school... you get the idea. And since we're on the subject, malls are a bad place to hole up in. Too many entrances, and not enough goodies for long term survival. In short, pick a new general merchandise or grocery big box store one of the warehouse/store comboes.* You get lots of canned food to eat, and only one or two large entrances to guard. *listWal-martcostcotargetetcUse the Buddy System Don't be a dummy. If your buddy is bitten by a zombie, shoot him in the head and get it over with. (or chain him to a wall and throw stuff at him whichever you feel like) Otherwise, gather the refugees, Rambo, and lead them to safety. People will follow anyone who acts like they know what they're doing, and you need the manpower to subdue the throngs at Costco. Not to mention that a good zombie attack needs plenty of extras. Since the average WalMart has enough food to keep a few thousand people fed for a week or more, you should have enough staples to get by for a few months if you limit your group to around 100 or so. There's a trade-off here between having enough people to defend your fort, and enough food to keep them fed. I don't know if zombies are edible, but that's a possibility if things get rough. It's not really cannibalism, is it? The basic idea to get from this section is, have enough people to root out the zombies and block the entrances, but not so many people that you have to ration the food heavily. Also, make sure you have some girls. Preferably hot chicks, but in the absence of those some tough biker babes would work. Zen and the Art of Fortification How lame is this... you and a few buddies are holed up in a mall, with who knows how many entrances, and instead of bricking up the glass you eat hot dogs on the fine china Macy's? First, you aren't going to do that, because you already picked out the big box retailer you're taking over. Second, you're going to spend the first day sealing all entrances. If you chose wisely, you have a store with some kind of concrete mix in it, or a home building center nearby. As soon as you've cleared the store of zombies, and maybe even before, you need to brick up the glass entrances. You can worry about the others later, they're smaller and harder to open from the outside anyway. Be generous and thorough with your fortification. A few pieces of lumber nailed up is OK for an emergency start, but don't forget to make it permanent. You might consider some kind of buttress design as well, since I'm not sure what kind of force thousands of zombies could put on an amateur brickwork. Finally, don't make the mistake of assuming your fortifications will hold. Check them everyday, measuring the wall to make sure it hasn't moved. You also might consider building a second wall in case the first gets broken through. T-Shirts aren't Bite Proof This is one I've never figured out. Zombification occurs shortly after being bit by a zombie. So why are people running around in t-shirts for days and weeks after Z-Day? Get some freakin armor! Thick leather will work in the short term. Later on, get some aluminum siding or something else metallic and affix it to your clothes. Even zombies can't bite through that stuff. Important areas to protect include the forearms, neck, and legs. Just make sure it's flexible enough to give you some freedom of movement. Helmets are a good idea too, but anything other than motorcycle helmets would look dorky, and I'd rather be a zombie than a dork with a pail on my head. (note: if you prepared ahead you cna alwaus buy midievil armor on the internet)Long Term Survival Let's recap: you've survived the initial zombie invasion, banded together a few dozen survivors, and fortified a big box retail store with plenty of food and goodies. So what's your long term prognosis? Not good. You'll eventually run out of water, canned food, and fuel for the generator. In fact, you'll be in the dark in a day or two, and the water will be gone shortly after that. Unless, of course, you don't panic, and plan ahead. Don't worry, I'll help you out. If you took a Costco like I told you, you don't need to worry too much about lighting. The skylights do a fair job of illumination during the day, and battery powered flashlights will be OK at night time. But if you're brave, you can venture outside to get fuel from filling station. And if you're lucky, you'll find a tanker truck to drive back to home base. Personally, I'd rather live in the dark. It might be a good idea to keep a CB radio in your car for just this type of event, and try to get a trucker to bring the tanker to your fort when Z-Day arrives. For water and food, I can help you out there. The first thing to do after securing your fort is fill every container in the store with tap water. You might have a few days of water available, but I wouldn't count on it. Electricity, water, and sewage will disappear soon, so you want all the drinking water you can get. Now that you've got that straightened out, you're going to become a farmer. Lucky for you, the Garden Center has lots of seeds and soil, and the store has a big roof for planting. This is a good time to learn the art of composting and water filtration - your alternative to the toilet. I'd place that on the roof too, otherwise things could get smelly inside. So now you are set. You've butressed the walls to protect against the press of the zombies, you have a few dozen armed followers, and enough veggies to keep everyone fed. You can hold out here for years. Epilogue What happens next depends on a lot of variables. Are there any other survivors? I can imagine a naval fleet having no problems defending itself from zombies. Nuclear powered submarines should be especially safe, they can run for decades. Maybe enough people survived somewhere to come rescue you. If everyone else is zombied, well that would suck. How long will zombies "live"? This has never been addressed, to my knowledge. Even though they're dead, they still maintain some kind of metabolism and thought process. You'd think that eventually they'll cease activity and it will be safe enough to venture out after around a year or two, becouse The great irony of zombie life is that even as they voraciously feed, they too are being fed upon. A zombie's body is like a big petri dish serving host to everything from bacteria and fungi to maggots and ants. The resulting state of putrefication means, as terrifying as a zombie may be to the eye, it actually commits far worse offenses to the nose, and will continue decomposin, and eventually ceasing to function after a year or two.Then again, they might be immortal, in which case you are screwed. It's kinda hard to kill 6 billion zombies with just a few 22s and a shotgun. In any case, I hope I've helped you in formulating your own zombie survival plan. (note: all the information was obtained from the FVZA of america http://www.fvza.org/index.html)p.s. this is a joke, I swear I am not crazy *twitches*
strange true facts
Strange Facts
*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
*If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
*On average people fear spiders more than they do death.*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
*It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
*You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
*Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
*Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
*You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
*Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do
.*In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.*A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
*A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
*The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
*Polar bears are left handed.
*The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
*The flea can jump 350 times its body length, It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.*A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
*Some lions mate over 50 times a day.*Butterflies taste with their feet.
*The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!
*A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!
*The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old!
*Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours!
*Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!
*Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States!
*in Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.
*In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.
*A group of larks is called an exaltation.
*A elephant is the heavest of all land mammals at around 8,000 pounds.
*A kangaroo can't jump unless its tail is touching the ground.
*A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
*A man had the hiccups for 69 years. *A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of it's body.
*A mole can dig over 250 feet of tunnel in a single night.
*A monkey was once tride and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend,Indiana.
*A noisy resturant is 100,000 times as lound as a watch ticking. Rock Consert 1,000,000,000 times as loud. Loud headphones 10,000,000,000. Shotgun blast 1,000,000,000,000
*A peanut is neither a pea nor a nut.
*A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt lightbulb
*A group of owls is called a parliament.
*A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
*A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
*A quarter of Russia is covered by forest.
*A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champange will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
*A rat can last longer with out water than a camel.
*A rhinoceros' horn is made of compacted hair.
*A rodents teeth never stop growing. They are worn down by the animal's constant gnawing on bark, leaves, and other vegetables.
*A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee
*A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
*A group of ravens is called a murder.
*A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week
*A silicon chip a quarter inch square has the capacity of the orignal 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block
.*A sizable oak tree, during the typical growing season, gives off 28,000 gallons of moisture.
*A snail can have about 25,000 teeth
*A group of toads is called a knot.
*About 3,500 gallons if water is needed to produce one pound of beef.
*A group of rhinos is called a crash.
*A Walla Walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background when they say walla walla it looks like they are actually talking.
*A whales heart beats only nine times a minute.
*A woodchuck breathers only ten times during hibernation.
*A zebra is white with black stripes.
*Anteaters prefers termites to ants.
*Ants stretch before they wake up. They also appear to yawn in a very human manner before taking up the tasks of the day.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. *Albert Brooks's real name is Albert Einstein.
*Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952.
*Alexander the Great was an epileptic.
*Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.
*All totalled, the sunlight that strikes Earth at any given moment weighs as much as a large ocean liner.
*A group of Unicorns is called a blessing.
*Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard. *After eating, a housefly regurgitates is food and then eats it again.
*al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
*Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings. *Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
*Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined.
*Canada is an Indian word meaning Big Village.
*Catgut comes from sheep not cats.
*Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about 10.
*A group of whales is called a pod.
*Abraham Lincoln was the only US president ever granted a patent.
*According to Genesis 1:2022 the chicken came before the egg.
*Chopsuey is not a native Chinese dish, it was crafted in California by Chinese immigrants.
*Chrysler built B29's that bombed Japan. Mitsubishi built the Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant called Diamond Star.
*If you are chased by a crocodile, run zigzag, a crocodile is not good at making sharp turns. *Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
*The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
*A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
*There are more chickens than people in the world.
*Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
*The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
*On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. *All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
*No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. *Almonds are a member of the peach family.
*Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
*A goldfish has a memory span of three minutes
*Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.
*The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
*There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
*In 1976 a Los Angeles secretary named Jannene Swift officially married a 50 pound rock. The ceremony was witnessed by more than 20 people.
*In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
*In 1990 there were about 15,000 vacuum cleaner related accidents in the US
*In the 40's, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it 'Bitch.' *In the Balanta tribe of Africa, a bride remained married until her wedding gown was worn out. If she wanted a divorce after 2 weeks, all she had to do was rip up her dress.
*In the country of Turkey, in the 16th and 17th centuries, anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death. *IN the flim 'Star Trek: First Contact, when Picard shows Lilly she is orbiting Earth, Australia and Papa New Guinea are clearly visible .. But new Zealand is missing. *In Toy Story, the carpet designs in Sid's hallway is the same as the carpet designs in The Shining. *Ireland is the only place where windmills turn clockwise.
*Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey decimal category.
*It costs $6,400 to raise a medium size dog to age eleven.
*It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equipt and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.
*It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.
*It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
*It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.
*It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not downstairs.
*It take 8.5 minutes for light to get from the sun to the earth.
*It takes a yard of sugarcane to make one sugar cube.
*it takes more than 500 peanuts to make one 12 ounce jar of peanut butter.
*It take the insect eating Venus Flytrap plant only half a second to shut its trap on prey.
*It took engineers 22 years to design the zipper.
*It was illegal to sell ET dolls in France because there is a law against selling dolls with out human faces.
*It would take more than 150 years to drive a car to the sun.
*Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been over mixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customer wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
*J.S.Bach had 20 children, 7 with his first wife and 13 with his second.
*Jacques Cousteau invented scuba gear while in the French resistance during World War II *James Buchanan was the only unmarried president of the US
*Jaw muscles can provide about 200 pounds of force to being the back teeth together for chewing.
*Jean Claude Van Damme was the alien in the original Predator in almost all the jumping and climbing scenes.
*Jet lag was once called boat lag, beck before jets existed.
*Jimmy Carter was the first US president to have been born in a hospital.
*John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and was found in a warehouse. Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and was found in a theatre.
*John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
*Kemo Sabe, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger means Soggy Shrub in Navajo Indian. *Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
*Killer whales have such a good sense of touch that if you dropped a pill into a bucket and feed it to the orca it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.
*King Kong in the only movie to have its sequel (Son of Kong) relaced the same year (1933), and it was also Adolf hitlers favorite movie
*Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.
*Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD. *Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI
*Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill 'if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee'. His reply 'if you were my wife, I would drink it'
*Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969, there by setting a new world's record for runners in the 100 years or older class. He was 101.
*Lawsuits riled be California inmates cost the taxpayers more than 25 million in 1994.
*Lee Harvey Oswals's cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 1992
*Lemon sharks grow a new set of teeth every two weeks! They grow more than 24,000 new teeth every year!
*Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one had and draw with the other at the same time. *Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors, played the viola, and spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.
*Less than 1% of the Caribbean Islands are inhabited.
*Less than 7% of the population donates blood.
*Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh.
*Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.
*Liquid paper was invented by Mike Nesmith's (of the Monkees) mother, Bette Nesmith Graham, in 1951.
*Lobsters and crabs have blue blood becouse they have copper instead of iron in their bloodstream.
*Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of Lorne Green's Wild Kingdom.
*Los Angeles's full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, LA
*Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
*In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
*In Georgia, it's against the law to spread a false rumor.
*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
*A cat's urine glows under a black light.
*An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
*Starfishes haven't got brains
*the mona lisa has no eyebrows
*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
*If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
*On average people fear spiders more than they do death.*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
*It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
*You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
*Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
*Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
*You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
*Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do
.*In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.*A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
*A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
*The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
*Polar bears are left handed.
*The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
*The flea can jump 350 times its body length, It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.*A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
*Some lions mate over 50 times a day.*Butterflies taste with their feet.
*The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card!
*A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!
*The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old!
*Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours!
*Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women!
*Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States!
*in Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.
*In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.
*A group of larks is called an exaltation.
*A elephant is the heavest of all land mammals at around 8,000 pounds.
*A kangaroo can't jump unless its tail is touching the ground.
*A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
*A man had the hiccups for 69 years. *A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of it's body.
*A mole can dig over 250 feet of tunnel in a single night.
*A monkey was once tride and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend,Indiana.
*A noisy resturant is 100,000 times as lound as a watch ticking. Rock Consert 1,000,000,000 times as loud. Loud headphones 10,000,000,000. Shotgun blast 1,000,000,000,000
*A peanut is neither a pea nor a nut.
*A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt lightbulb
*A group of owls is called a parliament.
*A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
*A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
*A quarter of Russia is covered by forest.
*A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champange will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
*A rat can last longer with out water than a camel.
*A rhinoceros' horn is made of compacted hair.
*A rodents teeth never stop growing. They are worn down by the animal's constant gnawing on bark, leaves, and other vegetables.
*A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee
*A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
*A group of ravens is called a murder.
*A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week
*A silicon chip a quarter inch square has the capacity of the orignal 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block
.*A sizable oak tree, during the typical growing season, gives off 28,000 gallons of moisture.
*A snail can have about 25,000 teeth
*A group of toads is called a knot.
*About 3,500 gallons if water is needed to produce one pound of beef.
*A group of rhinos is called a crash.
*A Walla Walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background when they say walla walla it looks like they are actually talking.
*A whales heart beats only nine times a minute.
*A woodchuck breathers only ten times during hibernation.
*A zebra is white with black stripes.
*Anteaters prefers termites to ants.
*Ants stretch before they wake up. They also appear to yawn in a very human manner before taking up the tasks of the day.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. *Albert Brooks's real name is Albert Einstein.
*Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952.
*Alexander the Great was an epileptic.
*Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.
*All totalled, the sunlight that strikes Earth at any given moment weighs as much as a large ocean liner.
*A group of Unicorns is called a blessing.
*Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard. *After eating, a housefly regurgitates is food and then eats it again.
*al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
*Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings. *Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
*Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined.
*Canada is an Indian word meaning Big Village.
*Catgut comes from sheep not cats.
*Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about 10.
*A group of whales is called a pod.
*Abraham Lincoln was the only US president ever granted a patent.
*According to Genesis 1:2022 the chicken came before the egg.
*Chopsuey is not a native Chinese dish, it was crafted in California by Chinese immigrants.
*Chrysler built B29's that bombed Japan. Mitsubishi built the Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant called Diamond Star.
*If you are chased by a crocodile, run zigzag, a crocodile is not good at making sharp turns. *Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
*The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
*A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
*There are more chickens than people in the world.
*Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
*The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
*On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. *All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
*No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. *Almonds are a member of the peach family.
*Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
*A goldfish has a memory span of three minutes
*Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.
*The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
*There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
*In 1976 a Los Angeles secretary named Jannene Swift officially married a 50 pound rock. The ceremony was witnessed by more than 20 people.
*In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
*In 1990 there were about 15,000 vacuum cleaner related accidents in the US
*In the 40's, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it 'Bitch.' *In the Balanta tribe of Africa, a bride remained married until her wedding gown was worn out. If she wanted a divorce after 2 weeks, all she had to do was rip up her dress.
*In the country of Turkey, in the 16th and 17th centuries, anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death. *IN the flim 'Star Trek: First Contact, when Picard shows Lilly she is orbiting Earth, Australia and Papa New Guinea are clearly visible .. But new Zealand is missing. *In Toy Story, the carpet designs in Sid's hallway is the same as the carpet designs in The Shining. *Ireland is the only place where windmills turn clockwise.
*Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey decimal category.
*It costs $6,400 to raise a medium size dog to age eleven.
*It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equipt and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.
*It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.
*It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
*It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.
*It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not downstairs.
*It take 8.5 minutes for light to get from the sun to the earth.
*It takes a yard of sugarcane to make one sugar cube.
*it takes more than 500 peanuts to make one 12 ounce jar of peanut butter.
*It take the insect eating Venus Flytrap plant only half a second to shut its trap on prey.
*It took engineers 22 years to design the zipper.
*It was illegal to sell ET dolls in France because there is a law against selling dolls with out human faces.
*It would take more than 150 years to drive a car to the sun.
*Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been over mixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customer wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
*J.S.Bach had 20 children, 7 with his first wife and 13 with his second.
*Jacques Cousteau invented scuba gear while in the French resistance during World War II *James Buchanan was the only unmarried president of the US
*Jaw muscles can provide about 200 pounds of force to being the back teeth together for chewing.
*Jean Claude Van Damme was the alien in the original Predator in almost all the jumping and climbing scenes.
*Jet lag was once called boat lag, beck before jets existed.
*Jimmy Carter was the first US president to have been born in a hospital.
*John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and was found in a warehouse. Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and was found in a theatre.
*John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
*Kemo Sabe, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger means Soggy Shrub in Navajo Indian. *Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
*Killer whales have such a good sense of touch that if you dropped a pill into a bucket and feed it to the orca it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.
*King Kong in the only movie to have its sequel (Son of Kong) relaced the same year (1933), and it was also Adolf hitlers favorite movie
*Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.
*Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD. *Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI
*Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill 'if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee'. His reply 'if you were my wife, I would drink it'
*Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969, there by setting a new world's record for runners in the 100 years or older class. He was 101.
*Lawsuits riled be California inmates cost the taxpayers more than 25 million in 1994.
*Lee Harvey Oswals's cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 1992
*Lemon sharks grow a new set of teeth every two weeks! They grow more than 24,000 new teeth every year!
*Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one had and draw with the other at the same time. *Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors, played the viola, and spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.
*Less than 1% of the Caribbean Islands are inhabited.
*Less than 7% of the population donates blood.
*Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh.
*Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.
*Liquid paper was invented by Mike Nesmith's (of the Monkees) mother, Bette Nesmith Graham, in 1951.
*Lobsters and crabs have blue blood becouse they have copper instead of iron in their bloodstream.
*Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of Lorne Green's Wild Kingdom.
*Los Angeles's full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, LA
*Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
*In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
*In Georgia, it's against the law to spread a false rumor.
*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
*A cat's urine glows under a black light.
*An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
*Starfishes haven't got brains
*the mona lisa has no eyebrows
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